Welcome to Saturday Spankings. I’m going through all my books from the Cassie’s Space series. This exchange can be found in Cassie’s River Living.
Today’s snippet isn’t a spanking, nor is it leading to one. But it’s a very special snippet for me. As a writer you can sometimes have a ‘do-over.’ That’s what this was for me. My son shared with me, when he had just turned fourteen, that he was gay. When we’ve talked about it over the years, he often told me my response was good. I don’t remember exactly what I said, I was surprised and not prepared. But, of course, I told him I loved him and that it didn’t matter to me. I’ve thought over the years that I wished I’d done better. So when I realized that Cassie’s neighbor, Drew, was gay I took the opportunity to, perhaps, say it better.
“Miss Cassie, can you keep a secret? I mean from everyone.”
I worried at the intensity with which he asked his question. “I can if you ask me to. I usually tell Tom everything, but I won’t if you don’t want me to.”
He stared at me for another long moment before saying, “I’m gay.”
I know some moments are watershed moments. I’m sure that there is a ‘correct’ way to respond to this statement from a young person. But I’ve never raised a child and I had no idea of the correct response, so I said exactly what popped into my head.
“Thank goodness!” I told him, taking his hand. “I thought it was something awful.”
“You don’t think it’s awful?” he asked in surprise.
“Why would I think that?” I asked him, bewildered. “Do you think it’s awful that I’m straight?”
“But I thought people your age…”
He stopped as I laughed. “Drew you are about to call me old, perhaps you’d like to rethink what you’re saying.”
“I didn’t think you’d approve. I thought you’d think I was sick and perverted.”
“First off,” I began, “one does not approve or disapprove a fact. One acknowledges it. You are one of the finest boys I know. I could never think you were sick or perverted. When did you realize this, honey?”
“I’ve known I was ‘different’ since I was in kindergarten. I’ve prayed for years for God to ‘change’ me and make me normal. But nothing changed.”
“Honey, maybe that’s because this is your ‘normal’ and God already knows that.”
*I sent this to my son when I finished it. He said it was great, but that I’d done just as well. I hope he’s telling the truth.