Monday, June 2, 2014

B is for background

B is for Background. Several of you were kind enough to ask for more background and I thought I’d give a little. I’m trying to keep my A-Z post short because there are so many good sites participating, but this one might be a little longer.

Where to start? I grew up in a loving, nurturing home. My parents spanked rarely and I hated it when they did. I preferred spanking it in my head, it’s always been there and I always assumed that would be where it should stay. Obviously I was weird, strange and perverted to have those feelings. I was content in my head with Cassie and my other made up characters.

I married a wonderful man, thirty-one years ago this coming Thursday. During our engagement our friends told us we would make a great little old couple. I often wondered why they said that. But now I supposed it’s come true. On the surface I thought sex should be fun and wild – but deep in me I was really one of those, ‘man on top, woman on bottom get it over with quick, and be sure the lights are out’ kind of girl. Most of my sex education came from my mom (born in 1919, who learned from her mom, born in 1880). All I really knew is to save it until marriage and you had to do it to get babies.

Our marriage was – pleasant. We loved each other, we liked each other, for the most part we were good roommates. We had sex about once a month, just basic stuff. I was fine with that. I’m sure Nick wanted more, but he never pushed.

I threw myself into my teaching, taking care of the children and later taking care of my parents. My fantasy life flourished – all in my head. I knew that the one thing that really turned me on was spanking, and heavens, I couldn’t tell my husband about that!

I lost my mother eleven years ago and my dad nine years ago. The kids were older and I began wondering what I wanted out of life, and then it hit. Pain like I’d never know. It began in my fingers and spread pretty quickly. It was so very strange. I’d get up in the mornings feeling fine, then around two or three in the afternoon the pain hit, first a finger or two – not always the same finger, then my arms and shoulder, my neck, my knees and feet. My kids had to help me up from a chair. I couldn’t read because putting two fingers together to turn the page was excruciating. No pain meds touched it. I began going to bed at six to hopefully get out of pain. Mollie, eleven at the time, bought me her mirror for my nightstand so I could see the TV with out turning my head.

I was able to teach, I was still fine during the day until afternoon. It was so strange – I had tests, x-rays, you name it, nothing showed. Then I went to a rheumatologist. He listened to my symptoms and said, “I think you have palindromic rheumatism.” He gave me a prescription and said, “Take one a day for a month, then one every other day for a month. Then come back and see me.” I had little hope, no pill had helped before.

The next day there was no pain. NO pain. Not better, not easing up – gone. I found myself looking over my shoulder for it. I couldn’t believe it could just be gone. It was that simple. I have the occasional rare flair up, it might start in one finger. I take the medication for a day or two and it’s gone. God bless my doctor for his knowledge.

So I went from thinking my life was over, or would at least be spent in pain, possible in a wheel chair to feeling fantastic. I intended on celebrating! I got on line, googled spanking, found the blogs and after a few weeks reading there, I emailed Nick – I was still to embarrassed to tell him fact to face. I told him my desires and that I wanted him to think about it. We had just made a little TV room in the basement; there was a day bed a TV and our computer. I mentioned to him that I wished the door had a lock since I felt uncomfortable making too much noise in our bedroom, if he did decide he was willing to spank me. When I got home the next day he smiled and handed me the key to the brand new lock on the door.

Everything changed – everything! Over night our sex life went from pretty dull vanilla to ‘we’re willing to try anything once’, and I think we have! We are the proud owners of toys galore, paddles, crops, cane (just one, I gave one of the damn things to Leigh Smith after Ronnie sent me two). We have plugs, vibrators, floggers, cuffs and masks. We have fun!

I also began sleeping in the nude, let my hair grow and lost forty pounds (sadly that crept back on, but you get the idea.) During this time of discovery our oldest went to college, something I thought would kill me, and might have if I hadn’t been so close to my husband by then. Nick was laid off from work, I know our closeness helped us ride out those two years. I even went though menopause during that time and barely notice it. And I started writing, boy, did I start writing! I started New Beginning and I started writing all the Cassie stories in my head.

We’ve had our ups and down with the ‘spanking lifestyle’, but we’ve never lost the closeness it brought us. I give honor and thanks to the spanko bloggers that were there for me when I got the courage to go looking. I thank all the wonderful people I met on the blogs for making me feel, for the first time, that I was normal in my desires and I especially thank my wonderful Nick for putting up with the ‘other me’ for so long and totally allowing the new me to blossom.

Please keep coming back, I promise not to be so long winded everyday.

32 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your story PK...wow, I can't imagine how scared you must have been...not knowing what is wrong with your health has to be one of the worst things. Kudos to your doctor. So happy you came out to Nick and started New Beginnings...I found you through FF. Knowing you has definitely been a (B)lessing...so there's my B word! ;)

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Cat,
      I'm just glad you found me! FF has been a real joy. I was very lucky that my doctor knew what to do. I'm very grateful.

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  2. I really enjoyed reading this PK. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so glad your doctor was able to get to the bottom of your health issue and provide a solution. I can't imagine how awful and scary it must have been.

    So happy you came out to Nick and for the wonderful changes it has brought to your relationship. So glad you started New Beginnings too. I'm with Cat, you are a blessing to us.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thank you Roz, I was very lucky. Nick is a doll who has encouraged through all this.

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  3. PK,

    Scary time but thank god you had a good doctor.

    So happy you came out to Nick and started New Beginnings and the wonderful stories about Cassie.

    You are very special to me and to all in blogland.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Ronnie, you're the best. All this has been a joy to me, NB, Cassie, everything.

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  4. PK,
    life changes, sometimes for the good.
    A very pleasant read, and just the right length.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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    1. Mine sure did change for the better! I was very lucky.

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  5. My goodness, you've really been through the mill. I'm so glad things worked out so well, and that you got the chance to embrace life with a gusto.

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    1. Tara, I wasn't going to let that second chance get away from me.

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  6. To be honest, I don't mind a few words, PK. Isn't it strange how life can be sometimes like a book: we move towards the all-hope-is-lost-stage, and then something wonderful happens. I am so glad for you it did. Celebrate life with all you've got, and you are just doing that.

    It's an inspirational story PK, thank you for that.

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    1. Thank you. When you're living it nothing sounds all that interesting, but when you look back you can realize how amazing it really was. Thanks for coming by.

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  7. Wow, that's an amazing story of bravery and a wonderfully happy ending :) Hoorah for spanking!!!

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    1. I love happy endings and 'to be continued…'!

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  8. What a nice way to start the day. I love this story because it's honest and sweet and inspiring. Good for you!

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    1. The stars seemed to align for me, the right medicine, and Nick's willing nature.

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  9. Life is like a novel,isn't it. Sometimes the occurences are so strange if you wrote them in a novel people would think them untrue. Great story.

    and BTW, I'll be happy to send that damn cane to anyone who wants it.

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    1. I don't want you giving that cane to anyone but Ray!

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  10. Wonderful post! I enjoyed learning more about your background and I'm so happy for you that you had a doctor who was able to help you with the pain.

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    1. Holla, it was truly amazing. Glad you came by.

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  11. Great post and thanks for sharing the Background!

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    1. Thanks Kathy, I hope you'll come by again.

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  12. What a warm story! A real day-brightener.

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  13. What a great story:) Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks Rhonda, glad you were here.

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  14. Call me crazy, but I think you should write a book about you and your fascination with spanking and how you and your husband jumped right in.

    This was an amazing story. We hear about women who have to goad their husbands into it, or it takes years to get him interested. Hearing your story is a major positive.

    And it goes with my mantra - if you do it right, sex just gets better the older you get ;)

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    1. Thanks Thianna! I won't say Nick understands it all, but bless his heart for being willing to try all I've asked of him. We're a little past middle age right now and it's definitely getting better.

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  15. Oh P K, I'm late getting around tonight but I'm so glad I didn't miss this post. Being brave paid off for you both in a big way. Wonderful.

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  16. Thank you for sharing. This post touched something.
    Perhaps it is as simple as the happy ending and the strong relationship through the bad times. Or perhaps it is that your significant other was so willing and accepting.
    Regardless, I am happy you shared; it gives hopes to others.
    Best,
    Enzo

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