Wednesday, June 18, 2014

P is for parenting

Do you have a daughter? Would you want her in a DD relationship? Tricky question isn’t it? We read and write about this life style. I think most of us are certainly drawn to it, but for our baby girls? Of course, it all boils down to what they want and the man they pick.

My daughter knows what I write. She hasn’t read much, but she’s aware. When a friend’s husband told his wife that she shouldn’t wear a two-piece bathing suit out in public my daughter was ticked! Coming home, she ranted to me, “She’s a grown woman. What right did he have to tell her what to wear? No one is going to tell me what to do.” I nodded to show her I understood her annoyance, actually I think she’s right. At least she’s right for her age, twenty-one. I want my daughter to be independent. I want her to be able to make her own decisions and stand up for what she thinks is right. Now if she marries a really good man who truly has her best interest at heart and should she want to give him the gift of her submission is some ways, she would have my blessings. But if I had any doubts - if I ever felt he was not acting in her best interest, heaven help him.




25 comments:

  1. Interesting thought, PK.

    Interesting to me how you think. You add submission equal to Dd.
    In my head, it need not be pararell betwee the two.
    Giving someone submision is one thing, but allowing someone to exercise discipline on me is another matter.
    There are many marriages that have some D / s in itself, but even to have thought of disciplinary punishment.

    So I can imagine that many of our daughters will have some D / s concepts in their marriage if they marry an Alpha. Or they find their kink in D / P.
    But I think that DD that concept will die out ... if our daughters may determine. They are a different generation, a different culture and they have an absolutely different view of CP in particular.

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    1. Mona, As I read out here I don't see anything dying out. After all the people writing today are the women raised during the first really strong women's lib movement - or they are the daughters raised by these strong women. Yet many have chosen DD as their way of life.

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  2. PK,
    even the mildest mother is dangerous, if their offspring is threatened.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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    1. Boy you have that right Paul. I'm a very calm person - but mess with my children - no mercy!

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  3. Great post snd question PK. I don't have a daughter, but I would feel the same way as you I think.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. It's all a great theory until your child, and then you do a lot more thinking.

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  4. Interesting post, I'm ambivalent about DD - it's fantasy vs. reality.

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    1. That's the way it's always been for me. Having never really tried DD it's still right up there in the fantasy part of my life. Doubt I'd like it for real, but the fantasy never goes away.

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  5. I'd feel the same if I had a daughter. From what you write about Mollie I know she will pick a fine man.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. I think you're right. I hope and pray you're right!

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  6. Great post PK and I do understand what you are saying about protecting your children. I am the same way...mess with my family and you will be hurt...badly!

    If I had a daughter, I think I would feel the same way I feel now...depends on the individuals and their relationship...DD is right for some and not for others. ;) Thanks for a thought provoking post.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. I know we would all be super protective. My parents were gone, but my sister I know would have probably torn Nick's head off had she felt it was abuse. I told her about four year after I'd come out to him and she fully well knew I'd been happier those four years than any before. That helped her see the truth.

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  7. I am a very strong woman when it comes to my family. Woe to someone who treats my daughter without regard for her welbeing. Actually my Scotsman would probably be first in line. That being said, I think a man that knows how to treat a woman as a lady (and maybe takes charge) has appeal for many of us. Respect is what it is all about. Spanking, TTDW, DD etc naturally needs that loving care and respect component. Sometimes it is wonderful to accept the other taking charge and acting as a leader. So if My daughter wished this, or was in a relationship with a man who had a certain proclivity.....I would respect her relationship.

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    1. As long as it wasn't abusive......

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    2. True I would love to think my daughter is like me and would go for the strong, loving, protective man and if she wanted to embrace TTWD I'd be fine - but my SIL better be able to walk on water!

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  8. I've thought of this. It's difficult. My daughter seems to gravitate to strong men, who are sweet and caring, like her mother does. And I think I would be okay as long as it was safe and consensual and he was sweet and attentive. I know it has made me happier and if it would make her happier, I think I would be okay with it!

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    1. "as long as it was safe and consensual and he was sweet and attentive" That says it all!

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  9. My husband and I talk about this too and we have the same thought - if they want to give the gift to a worthy man, then fine, but it needs to be their choice and they need to be in a position always to make that choice.

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    1. So true. I have no doubt my daughter will choose well. But I'll be glad when I KNOW she has a trustworthy man. Trustworthy in every way.

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  10. oh very interesting post, PK. I'll have to go back and read some of the lovely long comments before mine once I've commented. For me, it's not at all based on the gender of my child. At least I don't feel it is. Of course with an only child who is a cisgender male- at least that's what he appears and he's not claiming any different identity as of now- I may be limited. However, it's a family joke that my teen just needs to turn 18 and find "a nice leather daddy." But regardless of the gender of a child, as a parent, I'd prefer my child to live some sort of TTWD- in my experience, these relationships have tended to be happier, more fulfilling, than vanilla relationships. I can understand where your daughter is coming from, although I practice withholding those judgments unless I know a person's vanilla/BDSM proclivities, identity. I was 15 when I found BDSM.

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    1. With my son happily married I guess I was only thinking about my daughter. I too believe people who participate in TTWD have closer happier relationships. I know if anything happened to Nick, I would not settle for strictly vanilla, all this means too much to me.

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  11. wow! deep question, PK!
    Great post also :)
    I agree, it would definitely depend on what my daughter's want, and I would most definitely want the husbands for each of them to be good men, like my husband.
    Hopefully, their daddy is showing them what to look for in a man. He's pretty great.

    But for now, I can ignore it.
    My 9 yr old wants to share the same boy with her bff from her class. (she has already started a little "wedding notebook" :)

    And my 6 year old has stated, flat out, she is NEVER getting married. She will just have hundreds of kittens.
    hehe,
    so I can relax for at least a year or two
    ;)

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    1. Katherine, yep, you do have a few year! I pray every night that God is guiding the right man toward my daughter.

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  12. That is exactly how I feel, except you worded it much better than I could. I encourage my daughter to be tough, stand on her own two feet, not have any man bossing her around. But I pray that she meets and marries a man like her daddy that she can trust and love unconditionally. Maybe then I might share some of the things I have learned about a DD marriage

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    1. It really is tough - we say one thing, but we worry about how we're effecting them. I just pray all our kids marry the perfect person for them.

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