K is for kissing. Now I think most
people like kissing, but I’ve often used kissing as a metaphor for spanking.
This is how I see it. I brought the idea
of spanking to my husband and he was very enthusiastic at first, but over time,
since he is not a natural born spanko he forget how important it is to me. So I
come on my other site and gripe and complain about not getting spanked enough.
Inevitably someone will say, you’re the one that know you want it – just ask him. Okay, right, I agree, BUT I’ve told him I
really like spanking and that it makes me feel happy and sexy and desirable and
cared for and loved. I’ve told him that repeatedly
for eight years now. Yet there are long
stretches where he does no spanking unless he’s in the mood for sex.
So back to spanking being like
kissing – you’ve told you husband for years you need to be kissed in order to
feel happy and sexy and desirable and cared for and loved. Just a little kiss
as you walk by some time. Maybe a kiss as you’re leaving for the day or before
you go out. But he never kisses you
unless he’s ready for sex. How many years are you going to beg for a kiss
before you just say, ‘Forget it! If I have to beg for every kiss I get, just
don’t bother kissing me at all!’ That’s how I feel about asking for a spanking!
Now let me say this has been a
complaint of mine over the years and I know many women still struggle with
getting what they want and need. At the moment I am not having this problem and
Nick has really stepped up and given me plenty
of what I need. Things ebb and flow – I
may be complaining again someday, but not now.
I love the comparison to kissing PK. So happy for you that you have no complaints about the lack of it :)
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Roz, I'm sure I'll complain again at some point. But I'm fine for the time.
DeleteComparing spanking to kissing was a wonderful way to emphasize how you feel about having to ask for it. My husband is a natural spanker and yet over the course of our twenty years, we have suffered that same ebb and flow that you describe. Like sex, old married just fall into a rut where sometimes the important stuff--like spanking--just don't get tended to as often. I inadvertently solved this problem in our marriage when I joined a bdsm group. Suddenly, my husband began to notice I had no shortage of 'dancing' partners. I would like to stress that my husband is not the jealous type, but he immediately stepped up in the spanking department at home. He's not concerned that I'm going to have an affair on him, but he does feel the need, now and then, to mark his 'territory'.
ReplyDeleteSounds good. We just want their attention. I'm glad your husband both understood and that he stepped up at home too.
DeleteAh, I was wondering where all the traffic come from, thank you dear for the compliment. And it is Han by the way not Hans. Not important either.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of women complain about that their husband doesn't kiss them anymore at home. And if you pay attention, in public is almost always is the woman who takes the initiative. I travel each day a lot of time in public transportation. And if you pay attention you see nice things. Last week there was a young couple, early twenties and some couple talk all the time and some couples don't. They didn't say a word for over 20 minutes. But every 2 or 3 minutes he gave her a kiss. On the cheek. She never did it back. Mmm, I always have to restrain myself to go over and give free advice.
Kissing is important, really. It does something words can't do.
xoxo
Han, people watching is always fun - and I have to stop myself from giving unsolicited advice too. I think it comes down to knowing what your partner needs and wants and trying to provide it.
DeletePK,
ReplyDeleteI haven't spanked any one for years, as for kissing----.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul
I'd be happy with both from you.
DeleteNice post!! I liken my need for spanking with his need/desire for oral sex. No it isn't going away! I want it regularly! And it satisfies a sexual area for me-just like you sweetie. It clicked. Made total sense to him.
ReplyDeleteProbably an even better analogy for a man to understand.
DeleteSuper post.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
Seems many understand.
DeleteI get you, PK. I totally do. :)
ReplyDeleteMegan said it perfectly. It's not going away.
LOL, I'm actually the "lull" stage of the spankings, and have been going through the same grrr conversations.
I HATE having to ask for it.
LOL, I'm not much into kissing, but great analogy.
:)
Katherine,
DeleteYep, it's not going away. And I don't mind asking - but not ALL the time. When it gets like that I just get mad.
Great post PK.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rhonda.
DeleteGreat post PK. My husband does not leave the house without kissing me 4 times. Even if he goes to take a nap he finds me first for me for my 4 lol.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why this is, but I'm not complaining ;)
Wonderful - I wouldn't be complaining either!
DeleteExcellent post, PK. Another thought...though I certainly enjoy sex, sometimes it's fun to just kiss and make out with that as the only goal rather than kissing as a way to get to other things.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! There is nothing wrong with enjoying one thing at a time.
DeleteThanks Sunny.
ReplyDeleteHey PK...Happy you have nothing to complain about right now...sending lots of positive energy that Nick keeps up the spanking good work. ;)
ReplyDeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat