K is for kissing. Now I think most people like kissing, but I’ve often used kissing as a metaphor for spanking. This is how I see it. I brought the idea of spanking to my husband and he was very enthusiastic at first, but over time, since he is not a natural born spanko he forget how important it is to me. So I come on my other site and gripe and complain about not getting spanked enough. Inevitably someone will say, you’re the one that know you want it – just ask him. Okay, right, I agree, BUT I’ve told him I really like spanking and that it makes me feel happy and sexy and desirable and cared for and loved. I’ve told him that repeatedly for eight years now. Yet there are long stretches where he does no spanking unless he’s in the mood for sex.
So back to spanking being like kissing – you’ve told you husband for years you need to be kissed in order to feel happy and sexy and desirable and cared for and loved. Just a little kiss as you walk by some time. Maybe a kiss as you’re leaving for the day or before you go out. But he never kisses you unless he’s ready for sex. How many years are you going to beg for a kiss before you just say, ‘Forget it! If I have to beg for every kiss I get, just don’t bother kissing me at all!’ That’s how I feel about asking for a spanking!
Now let me say this has been a complaint of mine over the years and I know many women still struggle with getting what they want and need. At the moment I am not having this problem and Nick has really stepped up and given me plenty of what I need. Things ebb and flow – I may be complaining again someday, but not now.
*Hans van Meegeren wrote a really nice post about spanking writers - you can read it here.
I love the comparison to kissing PK. So happy for you that you have no complaints about the lack of it :)ReplyDelete
Roz, I'm sure I'll complain again at some point. But I'm fine for the time.Delete
Comparing spanking to kissing was a wonderful way to emphasize how you feel about having to ask for it. My husband is a natural spanker and yet over the course of our twenty years, we have suffered that same ebb and flow that you describe. Like sex, old married just fall into a rut where sometimes the important stuff--like spanking--just don't get tended to as often. I inadvertently solved this problem in our marriage when I joined a bdsm group. Suddenly, my husband began to notice I had no shortage of 'dancing' partners. I would like to stress that my husband is not the jealous type, but he immediately stepped up in the spanking department at home. He's not concerned that I'm going to have an affair on him, but he does feel the need, now and then, to mark his 'territory'.ReplyDelete
Sounds good. We just want their attention. I'm glad your husband both understood and that he stepped up at home too.Delete
Ah, I was wondering where all the traffic come from, thank you dear for the compliment. And it is Han by the way not Hans. Not important either.ReplyDelete
I know a lot of women complain about that their husband doesn't kiss them anymore at home. And if you pay attention, in public is almost always is the woman who takes the initiative. I travel each day a lot of time in public transportation. And if you pay attention you see nice things. Last week there was a young couple, early twenties and some couple talk all the time and some couples don't. They didn't say a word for over 20 minutes. But every 2 or 3 minutes he gave her a kiss. On the cheek. She never did it back. Mmm, I always have to restrain myself to go over and give free advice.
Kissing is important, really. It does something words can't do.
Han, people watching is always fun - and I have to stop myself from giving unsolicited advice too. I think it comes down to knowing what your partner needs and wants and trying to provide it.Delete
I haven't spanked any one for years, as for kissing----.
Love and warm hugs,
I'd be happy with both from you.Delete
Nice post!! I liken my need for spanking with his need/desire for oral sex. No it isn't going away! I want it regularly! And it satisfies a sexual area for me-just like you sweetie. It clicked. Made total sense to him.ReplyDelete
Probably an even better analogy for a man to understand.Delete
Seems many understand.Delete
I get you, PK. I totally do. :)ReplyDelete
Megan said it perfectly. It's not going away.
LOL, I'm actually the "lull" stage of the spankings, and have been going through the same grrr conversations.
I HATE having to ask for it.
LOL, I'm not much into kissing, but great analogy.
Yep, it's not going away. And I don't mind asking - but not ALL the time. When it gets like that I just get mad.
Great post PK.ReplyDelete
Great post PK. My husband does not leave the house without kissing me 4 times. Even if he goes to take a nap he finds me first for me for my 4 lol.ReplyDelete
I don't know why this is, but I'm not complaining ;)
Wonderful - I wouldn't be complaining either!Delete
Excellent post, PK. Another thought...though I certainly enjoy sex, sometimes it's fun to just kiss and make out with that as the only goal rather than kissing as a way to get to other things.ReplyDelete
Absolutely! There is nothing wrong with enjoying one thing at a time.Delete
Hey PK...Happy you have nothing to complain about right now...sending lots of positive energy that Nick keeps up the spanking good work. ;)ReplyDelete
Hugs and Blessings...